I have seen a ton of comparison pictures online lately of people’s selfies from 2012 and now. Like everyone else, I have changed so much in the last 5 years.
It is quite a drastic change, and I was the definition of cringy scene kid when I was 17. 2012 was the year I finished my Junior year and started my Senior year of High School. Over the past five years I have learned to do my makeup, wear clothes that are not band shirts and men’s jeans and develop my style into the woman that I wished I was in high school. But the changes have not just been in my appearance, but also in my mental health, lifestyle and overall outlook on life.
Mental health has been a difficult and long struggle that I finally feel like I have more control over now. I had very low self esteem and I was so socially anxious that I would choose to fail projects in school to avoid doing a presentation or work in a group. I thought I would be one of those people that give up the fight against their own mind and don’t make it to see their 30th birthday. I still feel pressure from these feelings but I have developed more confidence and I know that I have support from my husband, family and friends.
Despite all of that, I still look back on that year and I am so happy that it happened. There are so many good things that happened: I attended my first Warped Tour, saw My Chemical Romance twice and I met my husband on December 28th of 2012. I no longer speak to anyone I was friends with back then but if I could say one thing to them I would thank them for helping me get through the hardest time in my life so far. I would also apologize for pushing them all away when I wanted to forget that period of my life.
Today I am not just the author of this blog, I am also a teacher. I work at a daycare and have my own classroom of 12 crazy 2 year olds. I paint, sketch, and restore vintage clothing in my free time. I got married earlier this year and turned 22 years old.
I have been wanting to write this for a while to show teenagers that are in a similar position as I was that it won’t always be as bad as it seems. The popular kids, the mean girls, they peak in high school and college and one day you might even feel sorry for them.
I know this doesn’t fit in with the rest of my posts and I don’t expect a lot of people to see this or relate to it but if it can just give a little hope to one person that is struggling I would be so happy.
Thank you so much for reading
See you Tuesday